dreamswe were in a shopping mall, perhaps more precisely - a department store.
like all ladies enjoy, we were shopping. shopping for bags, for clothes and then there were belts. and the mind went: "hey! i do need a belt." it did not sound like a dream voice. it sounded like the real voice. the man was holding various belts to offer, the mind mused: "yea i think i needed those.. somewhere."
we were still in the same place, but it became a theme park. and i discovered i was two months pregnant with an internal debate where it should not be announced. it was not ready to be announced.
then we waited for a ride. and my mom guessed that i was pregnant because i was mildly showing under my long coat. hints were thrown around by my mom towards my sister. she thought i hid my cat in my coat. i felt a lot of joy and excitement about the pregnancy.
and then i remembered the other four cats. they had been there all along. the guilt followed almost immediately. i had not cared for them the way i cared for merry and pippin. i had not given enough.